Just read that the monster accused of killing my friend got his court appearance where he enters his initial plea, pushed out to Tuesday 8/12. I have that day off from my vacation, so I may attend. I will be shocked if he pleads guilty, but I doubt he will. Her 30th birthday is 8/8. I am supposed to be on vacation in Atlantic City that day. I am trying to stay positive about it for vacation sake, but it is just really sad. There was a lot of stuff I never said to her that I should have. We had so many plans we didn’t do. So much life just lost.
Years ago, she had gotten pregnant by a guy who ended up being psycho (pattern?) and asked if I would take her to get an abortion. I will never forget that day, especially cause I was leaving for one of my vacations. It was the most painful day probably for both of us. I couldn’t get pregnant, yet here she was wanting to terminate her pregnancy. As a friend I did it, as an infertile, I hated myself. My vacation was then centered around the horrible thoughts that come with being an accessory to an abortion, when I so desperately wanted to be a parent.
I have always been pro choice to an extent, even though I was dealing with infertility. (Not my choice, and nothing after 7wks, where the pill would no longer work.)
That day I took her, makes me question it all…
Had I not taken her, had she not terminated the pregnancy, would she have had the chance to meet her killer? Would she be here today? I feel like had she had that baby, she would have been home caring for it, not out at the place socializing where she met the monster. Could I have saved 2 lives? Was I selfish for supporting her because I knew the father would never step up?
Idk, but I feel so terrible. The worst part is, her parents don’t even know. That was 7/13/2011. She kept it from them. Idk if they should know. I don’t want to tell them, nor do I know what difference it would make if they did know, probably only cause them more pain.
I have a terrible headache still.. I will be glad when it is gone.
I didn’t get much on my list done yesterday, but I hope to tonight. My aunt and cousins from NH will arrive in town today… meaning sometime this week I will get my fav pizza- Happy Joe’s.. and a Maid Rite sandwich, as is our tradition when they are back… its a local thing.
I can’t wait till this week is over.